Hello, I have so many questions because I am so confused.I
am sixteen and he is twenty six, we have been dating for two years and just recently
became sexually active together. I became pregnant, unfortunately I lost our baby, it has
however made us closer. I moved out and was living with him and then my father got angry
and made me come home. I see him all the time. So my questions are can we get married in
the state of Michigan when I turn 18? Is our relationship immoral?
Dear confused:
You can check out the laws in your state here:
Basically, it does not appear that it is illegal to marry
your stepbrother, when you reach 18.
Is it immoral? That is another issue. I think it is immoral
for your stepbrother to have sex with an underage woman, against the wishes of her
parents. It is also wrong for you to go against the wishes of your parents in having a
relationship with your step brother. I also wonder why your parents allowed you to date
each other.
I know it is very difficult to accept this type of seemingly
unreasonable attitude from your parents. Doesn't it mean anything that you are so much in
love? I know it means a lot to you. However, there are very good reasons why parents and
society frowns on this type of relationship.
In your case, the age difference and the familial
relationship between you and your stepbrother makes your stepbrother's motives very
questionable. It isn't a matter of whether or not the two of you can be compatible, it is
the fact that a much older man, in the close setting of a family, can influence a young
woman unreasonably. Within a family there is an expectation of relaxed behavior,
acceptable because of the taboos against sexual behavior within a family. But, within a
blended family with step relations, those taboos may be ignored because the children have
not grown up together. In other words, your step brother did not consider you off limits
and so was able to take advantage of the situation.
I know that it's possible that he did not intend to do
anything wrong, but these 'rules' exist for the protection of everyone. For your own sake,
and the sake of the family, stop seeing each other until you are 18. You might be
surprised how much can change in a couple years. You may feel very differently about the
relationship when you are 18.
Best Wishes
