Flirting plus.

Dear At the Fence:

My husband and I have been married 10 years and together 11 Seven years into the marriage we decided to try the threesome thing with another woman and when it was time I walked out right in the middle of it and he stayed until he was done. We are just now over that, I believe....but today he did something that really shocked me....and I caught him...While walking over to a neighbor's another neighbor walked out her back door and shook her boobs at him when he in turned shook his crotch at her and flipped her off, laughing.

When I confronted him with this when he got back, because he didn't know I saw it, he said they were just playing and I better not say anything to her. So what do you think? What should I do and how should I approach this situation?

Shocked

Dear Shocked:

Considering the history between the two of you, I'd say you probably won't get him to admit or understand that there is anything wrong with his behavior. I doubt this is the first time he and his neighbor have 'played'. Whether or not they have had sex is unknown, but it is not okay for a husband to flirt like this. These are strong and clear sexual messages they are sending to each other.

The two of you need to talk about what is okay and what is not. You may need to get a counselor involved, if he is willing. In a way he has been unfaithful to you and it will take time to rebuild your trust in him. Have the two of you really resolved the past? Did you talk it out or just try to ignore it and go on? Things like that must be discussed. It reveals a big difference in what the two of you expect from a relationship. These differences don't just go away.

Best Wishes

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The contents of these pages represent my personal opinions, which are offered for entertainment and educational purposes, only. I am not a psychologist or therapist. My professional background has been as an educator dealing with personal growth issues, parenting skills and relationship problems. My hope is that this information will be helpful to you, but please, use common sense and thoughtful consideration before acting on any of the information you find here.