We've all been there. We want to encourage a child to do her homework, or a spouse to
complete his project, or a colleague to complain less and act more. How can we encourage
without criticizing, berating or pushing too hard?
Here are three techniques that can help you nudge without
nagging.
* Show appreciation.
Novelist Arnold Bennett had a publisher who boasted about the extraordinary efficiency of
his secretary. One day while visiting the publisher's office, Bennett asked her:
"Your boss claims you're extremely efficient. What's your secret?" "It's
not my secret," said the assistant, "it's his." She went on to tell him
that her boss always acknowledged and appreciated everything she did, regardless how
insignificant. That was why she worked so hard for him. Her boss' appreciation nudged her
toward constant improvement.
* If possible, keep it light-hearted.
The careful use of humor can work in any relationship where nudging may be required. One
wife used it effectively when she found herself on the verge of nagging her husband to
repair the lawn mower. He had promised to fix it, but the grass grew ever taller while he
procrastinated.
Then one day he came home and found her seated on the ground
snipping grass with sewing scissors, one blade at a time. He watched in amazement and then
went into the house. When he returned, he handed her a toothbrush. "Honey," he
said, "when you finish cutting the grass would you mind sweeping the sidewalks?"
They both laughed. And, more importantly, the mower was fixed.
* Be polite and respectful.
Sometimes it's more about how you say it than what you say. People respond best when they
are respected and valued.
Elizabeth Harrison stated, "Those who are lifting the world upward and onward are
those who encourage more than criticize." Try these simple techniques next time you
want to nudge without nagging.
__________
Steve Goodier Publisher@...
is a professional
speaker, consultant and author of numerous books. Visit his site for more information, or
to sign up for his FREE newsletter of Life, Love and Laughter at http://LifeSupportSystem.com.