Emotional Abuse
Using insults,
being disrespectful, using criticisms, making demands, put downs, using the past against
you, withholding affection, giving you the silent treatment, refusal to discuss things,
expecting to be serves, not contributing to the relationship through work, chores, money, participation,
Using the children
against you, threatening to take the children, threatening to leave, telling you no one
else will want you, making you fearful, threatening you physically, yelling, screaming,
throwing things, destroying things.
The Verbally Abusive
Relationship by Patricia Evans --Identifies different forms of verbal abuse and gives suggestions for
responding.
When Love Goes Wrong by Ann Jones
and Susan Schecter --
Basic information concerning
abuse, how to help, how to survive.
Invisible Chains A novel about domestic abuse. Information
about abuse in a novel form. Stands alone as a good read, suspenseful and engrossing, but
also illustrates various types of abuse.
Can be ordered at a reduced
rate from the author, on the front page of this site.
Abuse Shelter Hotline
1-800-799-7233 |
Dear At the Fence:
My husband has been constantly criticisizing me. He
tells me how I should think or feel. I am constastanlty walking on egg shells.
He uses my weakness to his advantage. I can remember one time him talking about getting
into someone's mind and that he has done that with me.
When we have had arguments and I challenge him he begins to call me trash, scum and tells
me I wouldn't know what it is like to be a submissive wife.
He says that I am the crazy one and dangerous one.
My question is this - he has engaged me - there were times he would constantly call me
names for tweny minutes then after that I would yell and scream and then call him names.
Does this make me an abuser?
I am so confused.
I told him we need counseling but he would only go to talk about my problems not his.
Confused
Dear Confused:
Confusion is one of the tipoffs that you are being abused. I
can practically guarantee that you don't have that effect on him, because he is the one in
control here.
He is abusing you in so many ways and seems to be expert in
mind games.
If you react with abuse, that is what he wants. Then he can
say that you are abusive, just like him, so he is okay.
Try not to react to his abuse with more abuse. You are just
playing into his hands. The book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship is a classic and breaks down the abuser's tactics so you can see what
is happening and not just react. You can find it at libraries and usually find used copies
at Amazon.
Of course he is willing to talk about YOUR
problerm, because abusers really believe they are okay. Everything is someone else's
fault, not them. That is why they usually don't change. I'm surprised this relationship
has not turned violent yet. Be careful, emotional abuse is usually just the start.
God Bless
Abuse Shelter Hotline
1-800-799-7233
© 2008 Nora Penia All Rights Reserved
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Disclaimer:
The contents of these pages represent my personal
opinions, which are offered for entertainment and educational purposes, only. I am not a
psychologist or therapist. My professional background has been as an educator dealing with
personal growth issues, parenting skills and relationship problems. My hope is that this
information will be helpful to you, but please, use common sense and thoughtful
consideration before acting on any of the information you find here. |
