Dear At the Fence:

We have a 19-year-old son who dropped out of high school, was sent to an alternative school and again dropped out.  He is not working, only part time (when he wants some party money).  He refuses to go to work, parties every weekend, eats everything in the house and abuses drugs and alcohol.  We have spent the last three years trying to talk to him, but after a couple of good days (very few indeed) he goes right back to his old pattern.

Lately when we leave for a weekend trip we have locked the house, bought him food to take to the neighbors with whom he says he will be staying.  Both times he has broken in, one time to hold a party and another time he hot-wired his father's tractor to pull an old car out of the back woods to sell parts off of it.  We have told him he has to leave, but he just yells and says he has no job.  He also has no intentions of getting a job.   We are in a constant battle with him and want him out.  What do we do?

Tired of the fighting.

Dear Tired of the fighting:

Don't fight. Lay down some rules and enforce them. The problem seems to be that he does not take you seriously. He has learned that he can get away with anything. You have to teach him to take you seriously.

If you are serious about getting him out, change the locks, install a security system and prosecute him if he breaks in. It is unfortunate, but he has to accept that it can be a rough world and he has to do his part.

You might want to consult with an attorney to make sure your plans are legal and a family counselor to prepare for the battle.

 

Best Wishes 

Contents *  Relationships *  Abuse *  Parenting *  Single Scene *  Religious Issues * 
*  Search  Letters * Bookstore *   Send Question *

Warning!

No part of this website may be used on another's website, newsletter, ezine or other electronic or print publication without express permission of the author. Nora Penia is the sole owner of all content not attributed to others. All this material is copyrighted and any use is against the law.

© 2007 Nora Penia All Rights Reserved

Disclaimer:

The contents of these pages represent my personal opinions, which are offered for entertainment and educational purposes, only. I am not a psychologist or therapist. My professional background has been as an educator dealing with personal growth issues, parenting skills and relationship problems. My hope is that this information will be helpful to you, but please, use common sense and thoughtful consideration before acting on any of the information you find here.