Dear At the Fence:

My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 almost 7 years (this July). She is 23 I am 29. At one time during our relationship we were engaged about 3 years ago. This was great. Things were so good. Then about a year and a half later she said she wasn't ready to be married and didn't want to be engaged anymore. I said ok I didn't want to push her and tried to be patient.

Recently about 4 months ago she started going out more, hanging' with friends from work whom are younger than she. Then about a month ago she said she wanted to take a break that she didn't know what she wanted. At first for say 2 weeks everything was close to the same. Then it was like snowing in the middle of august.

She didn't call me she didn't want to hang out. I broke down and asked her if we were going to get back together. She snapped at me and said I don't know. She asked me how I felt about her dating others. I broke down in tears. We hung out the rest of the day almost awkwardly. It was getting late and I asked if I could sleep over she said ok but she will sleep on the couch.

I took that as basically a No and so I left and went home. The next day I couldn't take it at work I just had to tell her how I felt. I took off of work and wrote her a letter as I couldn't talk face-to-face. I cried. I took it to her and we talked and I cried she said she needed space and time away that it was nothing to do with me.

She said she wanted to make sure her decision was right that she didn’t want to make the wrong decision. I asked her if there was someone else she assured me that there wasn't. I do trust her but I am thinking that maybe her "younger" friends are making her think that she is missing out on her early 20's. Most of them are late teens or earlier 20's then she. I am very confused and tired and hungry. I haven't been able sleep or eat. Work is twice the chore now. I don't know what to do? Please help.

Confused and tired

Dear Confused and tired:

She has already broken up with you but is too afraid to just say so. She is trying to let you down gently because she doesn't know how you will react or what to say to you. Just quietly let her go. Next time maybe someone closer to your age would work better. 7 years ago, she was 16/17, compared to your 21/22. Believe it or not that is a large age gap considering your ages.

 

Best Wishes

© 2008 Nora Penia All Rights Reserved

Contents *   Relationships *  Abuse *   Parenting *  Single Scene *  Religious Issues *   *  Search  Letters *   Send Question

Warning!

No part of this website may be used on another's website, newsletter, ezine or other electronic or print publication without express permission of the author. Nora Penia is the sole owner of all content not attributed to others. All this material is copyrighted and any illegal use is against the law.

Disclaimer:

The contents of these pages represent my personal opinions, which are offered for entertainment and educational purposes, only. I am not a psychologist or therapist. My professional background has been as an educator dealing with personal growth issues, parenting skills and relationship problems. My hope is that this information will be helpful to you, but please, use common sense and thoughtful consideration before acting on any of the information you find here.