A man lay in a hospital bed worried about whether he would live or die. He called his
pastor to come pray for him. He told her that if he got well, he'd donate $20,000 to the
church.
The pastor prayed and the man eventually DID get well and returned home. But no check came
to the church. So the pastor paid him a visit.
"I see you're doing quite well now," she observed. "I was just wondering
about the promise you made."
"What promise?" he asked.
"You said you'd give $20,000 to the church if you recovered."
"I did?" he exclaimed. "That goes to show you just how sick I really
was!"
It is easy to give thanks -- or to show it -- when we feel grateful. But gratitude is not
a feeling we can manufacture. Nor are we born feeling grateful.
Children are not thankful by nature. We teach them to say thanks and, in time, they
develop stronger feelings of gratitude. My children could talk before they were weaned
from diapers, but one thing they never said was, "Thank your for changing my dirty
diapers. Dad, I know that is a messy job. I appreciate all you are doing for me." Too
bad. Sometimes I deserved a BIG thank you.
When they were sick, they never thanked us for sitting up with them at night. And when
they became car sick at the beginning of a road trip, they never said thanks for cleaning
it up. Even though their mother and I spent almost a half hour scrubbing the carpet in a
convenience store parking lot at seven degrees below zero (our metric system readers will
recognize that as -22 degrees Celsius), they never did said, "Gosh, guys, you're the
greatest parents ever! We are SO lucky
to be part of this family."
Naturally, we wouldn't expect small children to thank their parents for being parents. And
for most people, feelings of gratitude come with empathy as we mature.
But can we learn to feel more thankful? Here are three simple steps to help anybody live
more thankfully and to respond more authentically.
First, recognize WHEN a thankful response is appropriate. We take for granted too many of
the things that we should be giving thanks for.
Second, spend a moment reflecting on how another's thoughtfulness makes you feel. Be
intentional about this.
Then third, from a sincere feeling of gratitude, give thanks. When you do, you will also
discover that you are becoming a happier person.
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Steve Goodier's books & newsletter: http://LifeSupportSystem.com.