All addictions have symptoms, which allow us to recognize these
problems as addictive diseases. The signs of addictive diseases are self-stimulation,
compulsion, obsession, denial, withdrawal and craving syndrome, and unpredictable
behavior. Like alcoholism or drug use, anger meets many of the criteria.
Self-Stimulation
For those who are rageaholics, expressing anger is self-stimulating.
It triggers the compulsion for more anger. For example, let's pretend that we are going to
provide treatment for alcoholics. On the way to the treatment center we stop and buy a
case of beer. When we get to the meeting, we tell the alcoholics in therapy that they just
need to do a lot of drinking to get it out of their system once and for all. This is
similar to when therapist tell men with rage problems, "You just need to express
yourself and get it out of your system." It is just as absurd. The more alcoholics
drink, the more they want. The more ragers rage, the more they want to rage.
Compulsion
Anger addiction or "rageaholism" is the compulsive pursuit
of a mood change by repeatedly engaging in episodes of rage despite adverse consequences.
Rageaholics continue to rage compulsively without regard to the negative consequences.
Compulsion or loss of control is the inability to stop expressing anger once we have
begun. The inability to control angry words is a certain sign of rageaholism. Loss of
control--that is addiction.
Obsession
Rageaholics are frequently preoccupied with resentment and fantasies
of revenge. Those thoughts sometimes rise powerfully and allow no other thoughts to enter.
The force of anger is sometimes irresistible and followed by action. Therefore, the
preoccupation with the "wrongs" of others and revenge continually leads to rage.
Progressively, these thoughts crowd out all others until our life becomes chronically
revenge-oriented. At that point, anger controls
our thoughts.
Denial
Denial keeps anger addicts trapped. It is the mental process by
which we conclude that the addiction is not the problem; it's "them." Ignorance
of addiction and the inability to examine ourselves, work together to keep rageaholics
stuck. Knowing no other way to live, we deny that there is anything wrong with us. This
system of denial ensures that the process of rage and righteous indignation will continue.
Righteous indignation keeps our focus off of ourselves. This is why ragers seldom are able
to say, "I am wrong."
Withdrawal and Craving
As with any addiction, anger has a detoxification period. Craving is
high during this time. Those who abstain from name-calling, profanity and yelling during
this period report more depression than usual for the first three months. Typically,
during the first 90 days of abstinence,
ragers feel vulnerable and spend a lot of time thinking and hoping for a situation that
will allow us to use violence for some heroic purpose. Afterward, however, if we have
achieved complete abstinence and maintained it for 90 days, we find we no longer think in
profane or disparaging terms. It may even become shocking when we hear others do it.
Unpredictable Behavior
Another definition of alcoholism is that when an alcoholic drinks,
there is no way to predict his or her behavior. He may drink appropriately from time to
time, just as the rageaholic may express anger appropriately from time to time. However,
when the alcoholic starts to drink alcohol, all bets are off. No one knows what is going
to happen. When rageaholics start to express anger, no one knows where it is going to go.
The most likely think is that they will
explode, rant and rave. Rageaholics would like to learn how to express our anger
appropriately just like alcoholics would like to learn how to drink appropriately. While
there are some exceptions, I encourage those with rage problems to abstain from the
expression of anger for one year.
This plan is only for that small percent of the population who have rage or violence
problems. The approach described here is not for everyone; but for those addicted to rage,
it won't work to express your anger.
About the Author:
Newton Hightower is the Director of The Center for Anger
Resolution, Inc. in Houston, Texas, and author of the new book "Anger Busting 101:
New ABCs for Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them." Visit Newton's website for
anger-
busting ideas and a free email newsletter filled with guest articles and tips for
husbands, wives, and therapists. http://www.angerbusters.com