Dear At the Fence:
Hello, my name is Sun (I don't want to tell my real name) and I'm 23
years old and a Hindu girl. I hope you will read this mail even if does not involve
relationship or parenting. I really need to speak to someone.
From the time I was born up till now I was always a clown and
a joke for everyone, especially among females, and I was not a smart student in school but
I have managed to prove myself by doing very well in degree studies.
Boys never liked me because they say I'm unable to fulfil
their requirements to be their girlfriend. I'm not pretty, which I realize now because I
have a lot of pimples marks on my face and body. Lately I have stopped taking care of my
body and weight has begun to gain.
The family members from my mother's side do not accept me
because I'm different. My friends feel I'm going to be lonely forever. I have not got a
job yet and I'm too scared to work because I will make mistakes and always had zero
self-esteem.
I decided instead of sitting and crying alone, I will seek
help. I hope you will reply. If there is no reply I will understand, then I will have to
decide how my life should end.
Sun
Dear Sun:
I am glad you decided to look for help. I'm sorry that your
life has been unhappy so far. I want to encourage you to keep going. I believe your life
will get better.
You say you have friends who laugh at you and say you will
always be lonely. Don't listen to them. They have chosen to believe what
their society has taught them, without thinking about it. You have everything you need
within you to be happy and content. Most people do eventually find a mate, but it is
possible to have a great life without one.
You say that you have low self esteem and are afraid you will
make mistakes if you take a job. Everyone makes mistakes! Believe me.
Most people feel unsure and afraid, inside, from time to time. The cure is to take the
risk, do something even if you feel afraid, learn from your mistakes and your self
confidence will grow.
If you can, consult a doctor about your skin condition. Many
things can cause skin blemishes - allergies, medication, diet, lack of vitamins, not
drinking enough water, etc. But know this, being attractive depends on
more than the outward appearance. Your personality is what will attract
people to you. Be yourself, but don't be anything in order to attract people. Just let the
people who will appreciate you be drawn to you. Boys who are attracted only by physical
beauty don't make good boyfriends, anyway!
For now, focus on your studies and your career, look for
friends who will be encouraging and supportive to you, but learn to love yourself. You are
special and have a whole lifetime to discover who you are and what you are capable of.
I don't know much about Hinduism, but my personal faith in
God keeps me going and He has shown me over and over again that I matter to Him and He
wants me to be happy and at peace.
God Bless you, hang in there and keep going.
© 2004 Nora Penia All Rights Reserved
