Dear At the Fence:
I hope that this message is within the parameters of advice
that you give. I will try to be as specific and clear as possible. Okay, here goes...
I am 23 years old and have been married for almost 3 years.
My wife is 21. My wife has a 19 year old female cousin. When my wife and I were dating, I
saw her cousin once or twice, however she was quite heavy at the time. She started to lose
weight and shortly after I was married I saw her the way she is now. She is now a hottie.
The whole point of this message is that I suspect that she
flirts with me occasionally. Here are some examples. When we would have holiday
get-togethers, we would all play cards or dominoes together. One time, when we were
sitting down to play, she sat down next to me, all the other chairs were open but she sat
next to me.
On more on one occasion, while we are talking, she has
touched my shoulder, or my arm, or my hand. We have watched movies together a couple of
times. One time we were siting on the couch and I was sitting on the far right side and
she sat in the middle section next to me, when she could have sat on the other end. When
we are standing and talking, it seems that she steps closer to me.
When we were helping family move, everyone was in the kitchen
and I walked in and asked if I could help and she responds by saying, "just stand
there and look cute". She works at a custard stand and I will go there occasionally
to get a snack. She always seems happy to see me. All these events have occurred over a
period of about a year and a half to two years. Now that I have said all this, I must
provide the following information. She is dating my best friend, and it is quite a serious
relationship. And of course, I'm married. I don't think she would ever consider having an
affair with me (not that I want to). All this may seem petty, but I just want to know and
would like to get your opinion on this.
Wondering:
Dear Wondering:
So, when she was sixteen and overweight, she had a crush on
you, a twenty year old man married to her cousin. Now she's a hottie, and wants to know if
you find her attractive.
Sure, she is flirting with you. Whether she actually wants
anything to happen is unknown. She may simply want to prove to herself that she is
attractive to you. Since you knew her 'before', she may get a kick out of seeing you
squirm, or in thinking that you might be interested in her.
For the sake of your marriage, avoid her as much as possible
- stop visiting her custard stand - be polite when your have to be with her, but avoid
personal contact. If she gets more aggressive, tell her politely but firmly, that you are
not interested in cheating on your wife. Do not call her or meet her alone anywhere.
Hopefully she'll be content with your best friend and leave you alone.
You're to be commended for being faithful to your wife and
wanting to avoid a problem with her cousin.
Best Wishes
© 2004 Nora Penia All Rights Reserved
