I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 3 years now and we've been living together for
2 years. We are very happy together and I can't ask for more. I'm 30 and she's 26.
Last summer, her friend (she's from another country) moved
into the same town. We guided and helped her about living in this country.
Also, I drove her friend to her work often and we developed a great
relationship. We talked just about anything and we're always laughing/joking around.
It was like starting a new relationship, but of course she's a friend.
She told me that my g/f was lucky that she had met me.
She finds me interesting and I can see the way she looked at me. I'm started to get this
feeling that I'm a little attracted to her, but I'm still very much in love with my g/f.
Her friend has been looking for a date for the past month and
I just find out that she is going to meet her boss's brother. She's only 25 and he
is 37.
As soon I heard about this, it felt like my heart just got hit. Is this a large age gap
between them? I have never cheated in my life or left anyone for someone else. I just do
not know why I'm feeling like this? Am I less attracted to my girlfriend?
Confused
Dear Confused:
You're human! But you don't have to follow your feelings.
Because you are human you have thoughts for others and even attractions, but because
you are human you have the ability to realize that you have choices to make.
Being attracted to someone else does not mean you are less
attracted to your girlfriend, it does mean you have to guard your heart and your
relationship.
Now days it is considered natural and normal to have
friendships with the opposite sex, even when one is in a relationship, however, it is
dangerous. Being alone frequently with another woman cultivates a form of intimacy where
the two of you feel comfortable and relaxed, more open, and less inhibited. You open
yourself to temptation.
It is natural to be attracted to others. Remaining faithful
to the one we've chosen is a choice we make out of respect and love for the person we
love. The best way to deal with these attractions is to firmly turn them off. Remind
yourself that you are 'taken' and refuse to dwell on thoughts of attraction and 'what
if's'. Don't get drawn into personal discussions and keep some emotional distance between
the two of you.
You might have to monitor the subjects the two of you talk
and joke about. It may be wise to avoid being alone with her.
As for her dating someone ten years older, that is for her to
decide. Perdonally I always advise caution when dating someone much older. Hopefully she
will get to know him before getting too involved. Someone 37 could be very mature and safe
- someone else could be totally awful. It's her decision.
Best wishes.
