Dear At the Fence:

I'm a 14 year old Freshman and my boyfriend is a 15 year old sophomore, yeah I know awfully young to be in a serious relationship - but he swears on everything that he would NEVER cheat on me, that he loves me and cares about me. Everything that he could to make me believe.

So finally I dropped the subject then one night I was talking to him on the phone and he brings up his "ex-girlfriend". She is from a different county and blah blah and he tells me what all happened in their one year relationship with only getting to see each other every other weekend - just things that would make a person like me wonder.

My mom doesn't really trust him (he is different, is what she says) but he is totally sweet and kind - everything a girl would want in a boyfriend. Well one night he is sitting in my living room and we are watching the movie, and his cell phone starts ringing. It's my bestfriend and as soon as she found out that he was with me she said okay bye I'll talk to you later on and hung up.

Would my boyfriend really cheat on me with my BEST FRIEND or anybody? I don't know but he is a wrestler and this week he is going to be put pf state wrestling and he says 'trusts me, baby, trust me' then I get a phone call from HIS BESTFRIEND WHO WOULD NEVER LIE TO ME saying that he had been hugging all up on some girl.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!

Dear I Don't Know:

How do you know you can trust anyone? We learn who can be trusted by trusting and by finding out the hard way that someone can't be trusted.

One of the best ways to kill a relationship is to expect someone to cheat. Asking questions, worrying about things, talking about him to others, listening to what others say just adds fuel to the fire. If you really think he is not to be trusted, dump him, but if you base your decision on wht others tell you, you may be ruining a good thing. 

However, ask yourself why your best friend would be calling your boyfriend, and why his best friend would lie about him? It may be that your friends are not the best of friends. It always helps to get to know someone before starting a serious relationship - things like whether or not they lie or can be trusted.

My advice is to discount anything you don't see or hear yourself. Believe me, if he is a cheater, you will find out naturally. However, if your relationship involves sex, be careful. Sex doesn't make a relationship serious, it makes it physical. Lasting relationships are not just based on sex.

Best Wishes

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The contents of these pages represent my personal opinions, which are offered for entertainment and educational purposes, only. I am not a psychologist or therapist. My professional background has been as an educator dealing with personal growth issues, parenting skills and relationship problems. My hope is that this information will be helpful to you, but please, use common sense and thoughtful consideration before acting on any of the information you find here.