Religious clash

Dear At the Fence:

I am a 30 year old Muslim girl in love with a Hindu boy who is 4 and 1/2 year younger than I. We have had a relationship for the past five years. We both get along well and enjoy the each other's company very much.

Once my parents came to know about us, they stopped our meeting, but agreed when I pressured more and later changed their decision. But my parents are against this marriage because our religions are different. They think that my boyfriend will cheat on me. How do I convince my parents to agree to our marriage? We are both software professionals.

Problem with parents

Dear Problem:

Our world is changing rapidly and traditional ideas about marriage and parental control are also changing. Your parents have very strong ideas and beliefs about who you should and should not marry. Their concerns are based on guidelines they were taught to honor and value.

Your ideas are different. You grew up in a different world. This new world does not always value traditional ideas, especially ideas that tell us that we can't or shouldn't do something we want to do. Your parents probably have your happiness at heart and foresee problems with this marriage.

Your decision will depend on how badly you want to go your own way. How important is your religion to you? How important is your boyfriend's religion to him? How important to you is the relationship between you and your parents? If you marry, what will you and your husband do about the religious training of your children?

These are very important questions that you and your boyfriend must deal with. I would also suggest that you discuss them with your parents. If you decide that you really want to marry, then you must be prepared to deal with the reactions of parents and friends. You can't just expect them to accept it, although that may happen.

Best Wishes

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