I am lost for words to say... I am currently in a
relationship with someone 9 years younger than me. I also have a seven year old
daughter who loves the guy I am dating. My daughter's dad is not part of her life
and this guy that I am dating is great with her. He sees her as his own.
My mom has issues because my daughter's dad cheated on me and
my dad also cheated on my mom. In a way she seems to have insecurities about men in
general. She thinks my boyfriend will do the same. That he will find someone
better and move on.
I have spoken to my boyfriend of this issue and he tells me
he does not think that will be an issue with him. He has helped me out a lot but for
some reason my family has not really given him a chance to demonstrate the wonderful
things I have seen in him.
I guess my questions are how do I get my parents to give my
boyfriend a chance? Should age really matter? Do I listen to my parents when they say that
he is too young for a serious relationship?
PLEASE HELP ME.
Dear Please Help Me:
I can only guess about your boyfriend's age. If you had your
daughter when you were 20, and you are now 27 and your boyfriend is 18, then your parents
have a good reason to feel the way they do. If you are both ten years older (37 and 28)
then your parents may be off base. But ten years age difference is a large one at any age.
Of course your boyfriend said that he wouldn't leave you.
Would you expect him to say that yes, he plans to run out on you? He may not plan to
leave, but, is he willing to work out difference when they come up?
It would help if you and your boyfriend took it slow and gave
your parents a chance to get to know your boyfriend, before a serious involvement between
the two of you. They need to see what kind of man he is, how he treats you and your
daughter, how he deals with problems, how responsible he is. They are being asked to
entrust not only their daughter to him, but their granddaughter, too.
The fact that there is a nine year age difference between the
two of you is good enough reason to take it slow. If you really both want a long lasting
relationship, the investment of time in your relationship will pay off.
Best Wishes
