Dear At the Fence:
It's been over a year and couple months after telling my
ex-boyfriend to stay out of my life, which I never meant, just that at the moment I was
feeling as if he didn't really was interested in me. The relationship lasted about 3
months, now that he has a girlfriend for about 6 months now. I am still his friend, and I
am always the one helping him out whenever he needs help.
I think somehow the only time he really knows I still exist
is when he needs my help. I once noticed whilst he was with his girlfriend, he pretends he
doesn't see me at the same function. Now I told him he pretends to be nice to be just
because I help him out alot in anything he needs done and that I would appreciate it, if
he can let us not be friends anymore.
I think somehow I still have some feelings for him, cause he
crosses my mind during the day, when I don't seem to have anything to think about. I know
somehow he doesn't deserve me, cause he never tried to giving instead of always receiving.
Was I wrong to tell him to quit our friendship. Am I being selfish? I never told him
I still have feelings for him.
Waiting for your advice or opinion, thanks
Waiting
Dear Waiting:
You don't need to ask him to stop being friends. You have
total control over who you choose to to have as friends. You can't be friends with
everyone, and friendship is a two way street. Not that real friends need to keep track of
the give and take in their friendship, but friends help and receive help from each other.
You're not being selfish. You have the right to choose how
you spend your time and with whom. Just stop being available to him. If he asks you for
help with something, say no nicely and don't discuss your decision. There is a difference
between being friendly and being friends. Friendly can apply to anyone and simply means
you are courteous and not disrespectful. You can be friendly to anyone without being
friends.
It's normal to think about people from past relationships. It
doesn't necessarily mean you still have feelings for him. It's just the way we move on.
When you think of him, don't dwell on the thoughts, think of something else.
Best Wishes
© 2004 Nora Penia All Rights Reserved
